Home
by Ultimate-Bear
Summary: "But sometimes, all we need to do to be happy is to remember the simple moments in life that made you feel safe and secure. Things like the people we care about, the games we play, and the hobbies we do make up our real home. It's what keeps us safe. And it's what reminds us that all we need is a pat on the back and a smile." A heartfelt conversation opens Grizz's eyes and heart.


**Yeah. My depression has been going from bad to worse lately. And it's now so hard for me to even write a fanfic or anything without having an internal breakdown. But because of a certain person's message, I guess I should force myself to write something at the very least.**

 **I apologize for the trouble and please enjoy this little fanfic I made.**

 **DISLCAIMER: I don't own We Bare Bears nor _Le Petit Prince_. **

**-Ultimate-Bear-sama**

* * *

It wasn't everyday that Grizz had a chance to wander around the streets of the city on a rainy day all alone with nothing but a black jacket and a black umbrella. For once, he was happy that he got this chance. Usually, his brothers would tag along with him and that usually bothered him from thinking alone. But because they fell asleep from cleaning the cave, he decided to escape for a little while to finally give himself time to finally think of everything that had been bothering him up until that point.

He looked around and saw the others who loitered around the streets and corners. Children raced each other to their schools, not caring if they trip or step on puddles. Men in suits and ties slowly marched forward to the tall buildings, not caring about the others who'd shove them to a corner. One by one, windows were closed as the rain poured harder. The bear shivered as the temperature soon dropped.

 _Man, it's like fall came here in the middle of June or something._ He thought. Indeed, it was rare for rain to come in the middle of the summer, especially if you live in a place like San Francisco. Nobody knew whether it was a blessing or curse. But for Grizz, it was definitely a blessing.

After all, he needed the time to think.

Another gust of wind came behind him. It was so strong that it managed to successfully shove Grizz onto the pavement. And as he fell, his black umbrella joined with the wind, never to return to the owner himself.

The grizzly bear stood up, slowly brushing off whatever dirt stuck to his jacket. He then looked left and right just to realize that his umbrella was gone.

Grizz groaned. "Great. Just great. Now what do I do?"

He looked to his left side just to see a cafe. Grizz tilted his head and then realized something.

"Hmm...now that I think about it...I do have some spare change..."

* * *

"Thank you for waiting, sir,"the waiter said, trying not to look disgusted at the fact that a bear was eating in a cafe. Grizz just ignored her struggle and smiled. "No problem, Ms."

Once the waiter left, Grizz sipped on his latte as he stared at the pouring rain.

"It's raining hard today,"he mumbled. That was all he could muster at that moment. After that were his endless waves of thoughts. He must probably have thought for so long that his coffee soon became cold and all the customers who were with him when he came in were replaced. Even so, the rain never stopped.

Well, nobody could blame the bear actually. These thoughts have been bothering him for quite some time now. No. Actually, they've been bothering him ever since he first opened his own two eyes just to see this thing we call "life". And no matter what he could do, the tears and aches never stopped. It was rather an endless cycle of worries, anxiety, and fear.

He wondered how his brothers were doing. Were they fairing well without him? Were they handling themselves with just the two of them, even in this harsh rainy day? Did they miss him? Did they even acknowledge the fact that he was gone in the first place?

Did they even care about him?

His heart ached the more such thoughts came into mind. Grizz tried his best to stop them. He really did. He thought of happy memories with his brothers. He thought of the smiling faces of the innocents in which he had saved. He replayed the words of Chloe who said that she couldn't even imagine a life without him. All those he tried to fill in his head.

But it seemed that in some cases, evil needed to win over the good.

 _It hurts,_ he thought as his heart pounded harder due to those horrible thoughts that invaded his brain. He clutched his chest and forced himself not to scream. For screaming would lead to attention and attention would get him more anxious.

 _Stop, Grizzly. Breathe. Breathe!_

He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe.

 ** _1._**

 _Inhale. Exhale_

 ** _2._**

 _Deep breathe._

 ** _3._**

 _Don't let the worries and fears consume you._

 ** _4._**

 _Calm down._

 ** _5._**

 _You'll be alright._

 ** _6._**

 _Or will I?_

He stopped.

Even breathing exercises won't work to overthrow the mighty empire of the dark, depressing thoughts.

He groaned. Grizz hated it when it happens.

Even so, he tried to calm himself down. The painful thoughts were just too much. What did he do to deserve such? He did good, didn't he? He made sure that his brothers were healthy and safe. That's one. He successfully helped people from their own struggles. Grizz remembered the woman, Amy, who owed them eternal gratefulness for what they had done. Even if it may have not seemed like a big deal to him, just seeing the couple smile was already enough for his heart to light up. And he also tried to make the others feel like they're never alone. True, he knew that Nom Nom was nothing but a jerk to him and the others. Yet, Grizz could feel that deep in him is a kind soul. He may not know what trapped that soul, but he's sure to set it free no matter what.

He's done a lot of good things in this world. And yet, there he was, having an internal breakdown because of the sudden negative thoughts that rushed into his head. Grizz was so tempted to go and ask the skies why those thoughts were coming into his system. Was there something wrong that he had done to deserve all that?

Grizz wandered over a basket that had a sign at the top.

 ** _Get a piece of paper and follow the instructions :)_**

Curious, he approached the basket before taking the paper and reading the instructions.

 _ **1\. Get a piece of paper.  
**_ _ **2\. Get a pencil as well. You can keep it, along with the paper.  
**_ _ **3\. Draw a house in the middle.  
**_ ** _4\. Draw all the things you love there.  
_** _ **5\. Give it to our cashier and she'll give you the last instructions.**_

He looked at the piece of paper before glancing at the box of pencils that was next to the basket. Carefully, he took a brown pencil and smiled.

Grizz sat down and drew a house.

Well...it wasn't really a house for one. He drew a picture of the cave for he felt like it was safer than all the other homes he and his brothers they went into.

Why? For one, they worked hard to find it. After all those sleepless nights and countless tears they shed, the miracle just came to their faces. The cave itself made him feel safe and secure. It may not have chandeliers, fancy ballrooms or indoor swimming pools. But it was home. And it was in there that he felt happy.

Grizz reminded himself to add the small details. The trash can sat on the right of a window and there was a patch of flowers that stood on the left side. He added the basketball board with the ring and net that was attached to the top of the door.

It may not look like an artist's work but he felt happy just by looking at his drawing.

"What's next...?"He asked himself before looking at the sign again.

"...all the things I love, huh...?" What did he love?

His brothers, of course, were the things he loved the most. So he drew his brothers. He drew Panda checking on his phone like he'd do on a daily basis. Once that was done, he drew his little brother serving food while smiling.

But his brothers weren't the only thing that he drew. He drew Chloe who was waving at him, Nom Nom who was on a beach ball, and Charlie who was looking at the river with a peaceful expression.

Grizz felt satisfied enough. _I guess that's all, huh? Now what's next...?_

He read it, then stood up. "Give it to the cashier, huh?" Grizz looked around until he finally saw a smiling woman, just watching the people go on with their lives in the cafe. The grizzly bear slowly walked to the counter.

"Um...excuse me, Ms?"

The young woman smiled and looked at the bear in front of her. She looked pretty young yet she was beautiful. From Grizz's thinking, she could be twenty-two. Her long, straight hair that reached until her hip looked soft in Grizz's eyes. Her gentle, cerulean eyes shone into the light, along with the smile she wore.

Something told the bear that she was not American.

"Guten Tag, Bär. How may I help you?"

Grizz was right. She wasn't American. She was German. It was a good thing that he managed to read a few of the books his little brother bought.

"Um...Guten Tag, Frau. You see, I was doing this little exercise. It was about drawing some things like a house or things you love, I guess?"

The woman chuckled. "Just call me Devisia. And yes. I have the last instructions with me. Just give me a minute to look for them."

Grizz smiled, immediately feeling comfortable with the woman in front of him. Devisia smiled back and proceeded to look for it while saying,

"You know, it's good that you're actually doing this."

The bear tilted his head. "And why's that?"

"Well..."Devisia began. "Kids these days are really depressed you know. Always misunderstood by the grownups, always being told that they are nothing more than garbage, always being bullied and insulted...always being pushed away...it's really cruel, no? Nobody's there to save you or make you smile. You'll always end up feeling sad, even with the people around you. It's like what Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said in his book, 'It is lonely when you're among people too.'"

"...Antoine...what?"

Devisia chuckled. "You don't know his book, _Le Petit Prince_? It means The Little Prince in English. If I were you, you should read it if you have some time. It's a really good book."

Now that she mentioned it, he did remember Ice Bear reading it once. For three days, he wouldn't talk to anyone, not even his brothers.

Was the book that emotional, is the thought that circulated around his head.

"Maybe I will try reading it..."he uttered. Devisia just gave a small smile.

"You know, I used to be one of those depressed kids."

Now that made Grizz interested. He never knew that a simple, beautiful woman like Devisia actually had a deep and sad past of her own. He wanted to ask about it. But it seemed rude to do so on his part.

But it looked like he needed not to ask anymore, for Devisia decided to tell her little tale.

"Even if I was rich, even if I had everything I ever wanted, I felt like something was missing. Not even the tons of money I could see everyday was enough to fill the emptiness in my heart. Around that time, my Vatti's company became so successful that we moved to a small village up north to establish a branch in there. I thought that nothing would change, even with us moving to an unknown place.

"And then...that's when I met them."

"Them?"

The cashier nodded. "Ja. There was Megan, who seemed like a dickhead at the start. She's a nice person once you get to know her. We're like those two guy best friends who'd be there for each other. Heck, we even thought that we were guys!"She laughed before continuing, "As for me, I still think that I really am a guy in a woman's body. You can't just expect all ladies to fall in love with the opposite sex. The same is with men. Love just comes when it wants to. There's no limits to it. So if you fall for a guy when you're one, go for it. If you fall for a lady and you're a guy, go for it. That's what grown ups never understand. I guess even until now, most of them don't understand how love really works."

Grizz could agree with that. "That does sound true."

"Antoine de Saint-Exupéry once said in his book, ' _Les grandes personnes sont décid_ _ément bien bizarres._ '. It means that grownups really are very strange. Don't you agree?"

Grizz laughed a bit. "Yeah. Always calling you a freak, expecting you to follow their customs when they don't realize that the world changed, always wanting power in life when they can't even appreciate the simplest things in life."

"I know right?!"

Grizz then decided that out of all the people he talked to in his life, Devisia is one that he could consider a true friend. Five minutes have passed, yet he could feel a warmness in his heart. Maybe it was being this open that made his heart feel happy.

But Devisia sighed sadly. "And then...there's Anastasia."

"Anastasia?"

The cashier stood up and gave Grizz the paper with the last instructions written on it. "Ja. Sweet, little Anastasia. She's the one who made me open up. I wasn't so used it so I felt scared. I didn't know what would happen to me once I do. Maybe I'll get rejected. Maybe I'll be left alone. Maybe...nobody would love me for who I am. But then...she reassured me that she wouldn't do that. She's the one who first told me that others just don't get it. If they couldn't accept it, then they're not your real friends.

"I remember that night. We were just hiding in the barn, trying to protect ourselves from the storm. Then she told me that she knew that I was not okay. That I was not happy. I didn't want to tell her why. But she insisted me on doing so. So I did. I told her of my doubts, my fear, my insecurities, and my nightmares. I cried so hard on that night. I was afraid that I might end up getting betrayed for this. The whole time, I was thinking on how would Anastasia would react. And you know what she did?"

"What?"Grizz asked, not even bothering to read the instructions yet, for his attention was on Devisia's own story.

"She hugged me so hard and cried. And Anastasia also confessed that she, too, had her own problems. That she too was depressed and lonely. That it was only now that she made friends. And it gave me a wave of relief. On that night, under the blanket that we found, we cried about our own problems and told our problems to each other."

Devisia closed her eyes. "Then as the weeks went by with the three of us spending our summer in the fields, I just suddenly fell in love with her. I didn't know if it was her kindness that pulled my heartstrings, or the carefree attitude she held. I don't even know if it's the way her short, wavy, ginger hair moved along with the wind or her golden eyes that reminded me of the sun shone. It must have been all those reasons. Well, anyway, for the remaining of the summer, I tried to woe her heart. I gave all my cheesiest pick up lines to her and even offered to take her out on dinners. But unfortunately, she was pretty oblivious."

"Well that was sad, dude."

"I know. Even Megan was laughing at me because no matter what I did, she wouldn't even notice."

"Then...how did you confess?"

And that's when she went all silent. The smile suddenly disappeared in a flash. The light in Devisia's eyes were suddenly lost. It was as if they vanished without leaving even a single trace.

Grizz noticed it too. "D-Devisia?"

"...I never did."

Grizz gasped.. "You...never did?"

Devisia just looked down and nodded. "I don't know what got over me, actually. I thought that the rumor was true. We both did. We thought that Anastasia was talking behind her backs."She clenched her fists before sighing. "If only we just talked to her in a peaceful way...if only we tried to understand...then I guess I wouldn't be this depressed. Maybe Anastasia and I would be spending our lives in Italy like she wanted to."

She bit her lip. "But...but..."

Grizz looked down. He never knew that behind that smile, Devisia too had a struggle. From the expressions and emotions she made, he guessed that Anastasia...probably died.

"Y-You don't have to continue it anymore, dude."He said.

Devisia just gave a sad smile. "I just realized that today's her death anniversary. I'm such a horrible person."

 _So I was right. She is dead,_ Grizz thought. For real, he felt bad for Devisia. It was all because of that rumor that got them into this mess. It was all because of that event that Devisia's dreams never came true. It was all because of because of their mistake that drove Anastasia to her end.

He wouldn't what that happening between him and his brothers. It would scar him for life.

"But you know, over the years, I realized that probably things happen for a reason. I guess there was a reason why that rumor had to spread. I'm not sure why but whatever it is, I accept it."

Now this surprised Grizz. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Well...I guess that event made me realize that sometimes, sins, separations, and goodbyes are inevitable. It's not everyday that the sun can shine. The rain will have to come to wash everything away. And once it does, you'll realize the secrets that even the ordinary days kept to themselves."Devisia turned to the bear and smiled. Grizz stared into those cerulean eyes once again. He then knew that even with that smile, her eyes showed sadness and regret.

He didn't want to live like that. As much as possible, he'd want to avoid it. But something told him that there will come a time that it will happen. And although that made him depressed, he knew that he needed to learn to accept it no matter what.

"But it's weird. Some people say that they did enjoy their time with them. But did they really? The depression in their hearts seemed to say otherwise."

The grizzly bear widened his eyes. He then realized that that message was supposed to be for him.

He looked down. Did he really have a good time with all that depression embracing his heart?

The answer was simple. No. It was definitely a no. He was probably too busy balancing his own depression and the ordinary days that he didn't even know anymore if he was truly happy or not.

"To truly treasure your days with them, you need to learn about how to be happy first. Only then will you realize what memories are considered precious and not. And only then will you see what things are important to keep."

Devisia's phone buzzed. She got her phone and answered it.

"Hello?...oh, it's just you, dickhead...what is it?...okay...I forgot too...I'm sorry...yeah...okay...see ya."Devisia then hung up and turned to Grizz. "Sorry. I have to meet up with Meg or we'll miss our flight to Germany. We need to pay a visit to Anastasia."She removed her apron and hairnet.

Grizz smiled a bit. He never knew that all hr needed was a heartfelt conversation. In the past, he was trying to avoid talks of such, for he wanted to be left alone and he knew that having someone with him would make it worse.

The conversation made him realize that he was all wrong.

Devisia chuckled. "It was nice talking to you but I have to go. You better read the card. There's one more thing you need to know."

And that was what she last said before she vanished.

Grizz looked around. Where did she go?

She was probably fast. That was why.

He read the card. "Let's see..."

 ** _Look at your drawing again. And then think. Do you really treasure those people? Do you really treasure your so-called home? If so, then that's all you need in life._**

 ** _Today, we live in a world where power and authority are what the people care about. And in order for a person to claim them, they have to shun out the ones they think are not worth to live. It's a cruel, depressing world. You have to rely on your own instincts to live._**

 ** _But sometimes, all we need to do to be happy is to remember the simple moments in life that made you feel safe and secure. Things like the people we care about, the games we play, and the hobbies we do make up our real home. It's what keeps us safe. And it's what reminds us that all we need is a pat on the back and a smile._**

 _ **But how will you know for sure if they're really the most important things we need in life?**_

 ** _"_ _Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."_**

 ** _Translation: Here is my secret. It is very simple: you only see clearly with your heart. The most important things are invisible to the eyes._**

 _ **-Le Petit Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry**_

 _ **Now hang up that drawing on the bed of your wall so when you wake up, you can truly see with your heart what is important to you.**_

 ** _Have a nice day :)_**

He looked at the drawing again and smiled.

"I guess that even when I see with my heart...they're really this important to me, huh?"

Soon enough, the rain stopped. The sun was shining once again. Grinning from ear to ear, he got the drawing, card, and pencil and left.

Grizz made up his mind.

He was going home. Not to the empty cave that was invulnerable to the thunderstorms.

No. That wasn't home to him anymore. To him, home was his friends and family. And he knew for a fact that they miss him.

No longer will he be the Grizz that kept doubting even in the happiest times. He'll finally see clearly with his own heart. And he'll enjoy those warm moments with them until the day comes that they had to separate.

That thought alone made the rain clouds in his heart go away.

* * *

 **Soooooooo just some notes:**

 **1\. Devisia's actually one of my main characters in this book I'm making. The same with Anastasia and Meg.**

 **2\. Since the story was set in modern times and NOT in World War II (since the book's setting is in WWII, Germany), I had to make some tweaks. One major change is the reason why the friendship ended. In the actual book, the reason why they turned away from Anastasia is because everyone thought that she was carrying Jewish blood (even if the documents specifically stated that she's an atheist and her mom and dad were already divorced). Another major change is where Devisia and Meg ended up after all the events. In the actual book, Devisia ended up living in France while Meg went to China.**

 **3\. And of course, since the setting was in WWII, Le Petit Prince wasn't published around that time. So basically, Devisia just found the answers on her own. Le Petit Prince just expanded it when the 50's came and she finally bought the book.**

 **4\. The Devisia in the fanfic was quicker to realize her mistakes than the Devisia in the actual book. In the actual book, it took her two years until she finally realized it. And once she did, she found out that Anastasia died due to the Holocaust. In the fanfic, she died trying to save Devisia's life from a car accident and it was only at that time when Devisia realized everything, including her mistakes.**

 **So that's all. I did my best after not really writing for some time now. Oh yeah! If you all want updates on my next fanfics and etc., please do check out my new tumblr blog: towriteortocry (then just add a . tumblr . com to it.). I'll try my best to keep it alive.**

 **And that's it for tonight. Good night!**

 **-Ultimate-bear-sama**


End file.
